I visit our local "big box" stores only out of necessity. I am more inclined to support small businesses over the huge chain stores. Seems like every home project requires at least three visits to the hardware store, according to my wife. She usually adds on to my shopping by giving me a list. Each visit perturbs me that much more.
Sometimes I have an idea of what I need but can't quite put a shape to it. Sometimes I stand in front of the shelves trying to piece together an idea for my project. Invariably, some eager employee will walk up and ask if I need help. This bothers me.
I have that "I'd rather do it myself" attitude. I know the employees are just doing their job and they really want to help. But they have also interrupted my thought process. I may not know exactly what I need, but I don't want to spend 15 minutes trying to explain that I need a "thingy" to hold a spring that connects to a bolt on a lawnmower that is 20 years old. If I need help, I will hunt an employee down.
Usually though, by then, they are nowhere to be found. I suggest that the stores have stickers at the entrance that say, "No, thanks, don't need help." Grab it and slap it on the back of your shoulder to keep the "helpers" away. Be sure to take it off before going home or the wife will completely ignore you; or don't, if that is actually more desirable!
My other pet peeves involve shopping carts. Why do they put the cart return stalls so close to the store? The real need is way out on the periphery of the lot. I push a loaded cart two miles to the spot where I safely parked my truck away from those who would ding my doors. I really don't feel like pushing the cart 1.9 miles back to the cart stall. Evidently, many others feel the same way because there is a flock of carts gathered there just waiting to roll into the side of my truck. Please, just one cart return stall at the end of each parking row would do much for my peace of mind.
My latest shopping cart peeve popped up last Saturday. It was a drizzly, rainy day. I entered the store and saw that every cart was wet. Now, I have to tell you that I am a registered moderate germaphobe -- not an extremist type of phobic, just a lot more paranoid than the average consumer. In medical school, I was fairly sure I had or was about to be beset by most of the diseases we were studying. So now I see wet shopping cart handles. We are in the middle of the worst flu season in decades. I know that wet surfaces cause all sorts of germs to flourish. I begin to sweat and shake.
I grab some of the "sanitary" wipes and scrub my cart vigorously. I ask the greeter if one of their attendants could wipe down the carts because wet hands tend to diminish the shopping experience. She said something to the effect of "good luck with that." I get the 45-pound bag of dog food and go to the do-it-yourself checkout. I spy a huge roll of paper towels. I asked the person monitoring the area for shoplifters if those could be used up front to dry the carts.
"There should be roll up there already," she said. I said there was not as I eyed the roll of towels expectantly.
She did not offer to give me the roll. I checked out, wondering how many flu victims had punched the same buttons I was now punching and headed for the door. There was the greeter talking to a young employee! He held a dirty floor mop that he used to wipe a cart. I gasped audibly and interrupted their discussion.
"No, no, stop! You don't use a dirty floor mop to dry a cart! You just put a trillion germs on that handle!" I cried.
The greeter said it wasn't her idea and walked away. The kid just stood there looking uncomfortable. I walked out quickly before security was called.
Once home, I washed my hands with soap, then alcohol. I showered, put on clean clothes and took a couple of spoons of elderberry tincture. A cup of herbal tea soothed my nerves and, I hope, boosted my immune system.
Next time, I'll bring my own towel, cleaning supplies, gloves and a mask.
-- Devin Houston is the president/CEO of Houston Enzymes. Send comments or questions to [email protected]. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 02/20/2018