I heard on the news that a few days into the new year is national return day. That got me to thinking about some of the Christmas gifts I have received the last few years. I don't know why my kids think we need more and more technology -- because we're just not very good at it.
I'm almost ready to return the new laptop. I've spent hours trying to install the programs I need, only to find I haven't actually purchased them. I don't understand why technology has gotten so frustrating lately. What I really want to do is bring the old laptop to the Computer Club and beg them to resurrect it. Not only does the old laptop have the programs I need, in the version that is safe and familiar, it also has years of photos and documents that I'm going to have to do something about. If I could return the new one and make the old one last a couple more years, I wouldn't have to call the Microsoft help line again.
Everyone at the help line sounds about 19 years old and in a hurry. They make me feel both old and stupid. I tried to explain to the one kid that the reason I was replacing the old laptop was because it had gotten so incredibly slow. He was waiting for me to tell him I had received his email and didn't seem to believe that it could possibly take so long. It didn't occur to me to check the email on my phone because I was talking on said phone at the time.
If this year's problem is the laptop, last year's was the Apple TV device the oldest daughter gave us. It took weeks to get that set up and we never did find our Netflix password. Passwords are the bane of my existence. I hate passwords. For a while I made due with one password that I used for everything, but those days are long gone. Now passwords need specific things like capitals and symbols and a certain number of letters and numbers. I can no longer use the kids' names because they don't have enough letters in them. Why didn't I name one of them Genevieve or Constantine?
I've gotten used to admitting that I don't remember my passwords, but it's still embarrassing when I don't remember the answer to my security questions. Strangely, the answers are not always black and white. When they asked for the name of my first pet, for example, did I tell them it was Goldy, the gold fish, or Sneaky, the white mouse? I think we had them both about the same time. Or did I decide that fish and rodents, the only animals my parents would allow for a while, were not actually pets. That makes my first real pet a cat named Charlie. But when I answered the security question the first time did I use the cat's full name Charlie Brown or the name we changed it to when we figured out our gender mistake, Charlotte Brown?
The other day, when I was doing laundry, I heard my husband yelling from his computer, "What's your mother's middle name?"
I answered him from the laundry room, "Why do you care what my mother's middle name was?"
He bellowed back, "Trying to get into an online account."
So what did I tell those online account people about my mother's middle name when I set up that account? Did I tell my mother's middle name was Barbara or did I tell them the truth, that she didn't like her middle name so after she was married she never used it. Instead she used her maiden name as a middle name, a practice I admired.
Another problem with new technology is getting rid of the old stuff. In the basement we have a little computer grave yard. Not only our old computers, but also some left behind by the kids. It seems like we should do something to make sure there's no sensitive information on them before we find the computer recycling place, but that seems like a lot of work. And what about the televisions that still work, but have somehow become too bulky or too small or too something to be compatible with our high-tech lifestyle? I can't help but remember the little black and white television I bought for my first apartment. It was a big deal for me and for my roommates because it actually worked. Back in those days, our families didn't have an extra television lying around for the college kids. Now, a college kid wouldn't take the extra TVs in our basement.
The last time I was at the dentist I saw a brochure for an electric toothbrush equipped with Blue Tooth technology. So while I was sitting there waiting for someone to come in and clean my teeth, I tried to figure out why a toothbrush would need Blue Tooth technology. Isn't that the technology that lets you talk on your phone hands free? I'm pretty sure I used to have a Blue Tooth earpiece for my phone so I could use it in the car. I never really used it much though because it made the process of answering a phone call way too complicated and I almost wrecked the car while trying to be "hands free." It was a relief when I lost the device.
What new technology will next year bring and what new problem will accompany it?
I can hardly wait to find out.
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Lynn Atkins is a Weekly Vista reporter, an occasional columnist and a sporadic blogger. The opinions expressed are those of the author.
General News on 01/11/2017