Because of the conversation in the Arkansas Legislature about the official holiday for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert E. Lee, I recalled that Lee was an Episcopalian and, with some of his fellow graduates of West Point was stationed near Corpus Christi, Texas, were the founders of the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd there.
My colleague The Rev. Ned Bowersox was once the rector of that large parish. Ned was a recovering alcoholic and he said: "De-nial is not just a river in Egypt."
On Dec. 27, 2014, a horrific human tragedy unfolded as an Episcopal Suffragan (assistant) Bishop, Heather Cook, was involved in an accident that killed Tony Palermo. He was a husband and the father of two small children and was out on a December afternoon riding his bicycle when she allegedly hit and killed him. It was later reported that her blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit and she was texting. She was bailed out of jail to a treatment center.
This was another preventable tragedy because her inner circle of family and friends knew about her addiction. It was their "secret" -- their journey with her down the river of denial. She had been arrested for DUI in the past and had other social "mishaps."
Like all clergy, Bishop Cook would have been exposed to the various forms of addiction, Alcoholics Anonymous, The Big Book and the Twelve-Step Program. She knew that a co-founder of the movement was Bill Wilson, an Episcopalian.
What American has not heard of and many can recite the Serenity Prayer? Many of us know that the First Step is to admit the power of an addiction over us and the second is: "To come to believe that a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity."
As I write this reflection, we have just celebrated Valentine's Day. We celebrate the love we have for one another including our family and friends. Sometimes we rely on them to keep our secrets. Is that true, or do they really want us to reach out with tough love -- honest and wholesome affection -- that can help them find relief from an addiction? All recoveries are the work of the community and not an individual.
Dr. King said in an important sermon to our country, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that."
We keep too many "secrets" from our family, friends and our neighbors. We watch, as if helpless, as people drive weaving down the street, or notice that their spouse and their children have a lot of bruises. We witness behaviors that are not legal or moral but we keep the silence -- a silence that leads to tragedies.
We must be the light for those who need our tough love. Ask any pastor where there is an AA meeting or how to love your family, friends and neighbors as yourself. Trust me, we know. We know tragedy and can't be silent.
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Parks is rector of St. Theodore's Episcopal Church in Bella Vista. He can be reached by email to [email protected]
Religion on 02/18/2015