OPINION: Waiting in line

If extraterrestrial aliens landed on my front yard and asked me where best to observe human nature, I would suggest they go to any Big Box retail establishment. And I would give them a list of supplies I need in return for the favor, saving me the trouble of mingling with my own kind.

Actually, I do most of the shopping that requires actually going into a store. The wife prefers the delivery service, and I like to think I'm cavalier enough to protect her from any virus variants, even though we are both fully vaccinated. So, on a Saturday busy with to-do list projects, I found myself driving to the Big Box for a few necessary items. As is my preference, I park far from the entrance, hoping to avoid the door dings that inevitably occur to my vehicle.

Walking through the lot, I see a young couple standing by their car with the hatch open. They are loudly arguing, oblivious to those walking by. I sort through the options in my brain: One, I can walk on by like everyone else and mind my own business. Two, I can stop and graciously serve up some words of wisdom from my years of life experience, hoping the couple sees the light and reconciles their issues. Three, I can get near, stop, and video the whole thing on my smartphone, then post it on social media, thus elevating my standing among the trolls. I go for Option One. Let them work it out.

Once inside, I notice that the store has reconfigured shelving and item placement once again, which means I must wander through the store to find what I need. The stores do this for just that reason, believing that you will purchase some item on pure impulse that you would have otherwise not seen. Being wise to their wickedness, I pick up only the things I came for, plus a wrench with an adjustable head that I came upon after picking up cat food. Don't judge me.

It was a Saturday, which meant the store was crowded. I made my way to the self-checkout stations, only to see a long line. While waiting, I saw a woman whip past me into a vacant stall. I then saw other stations were available, so I let the guy in front of me know. He turned to me and said, "I don't work here." Puzzled, I said, "No, there's a checkout open." In a more irritated voice, he replied, "I don't work here, and I'm paying money for someone to check me out. It's in the cost of what I'm buying." I then realized I was actually in the assisted checkout line. I found an open checkout and completed the transaction in about two minutes. I glanced up as I left to see the same guy still in line, with four people in front of him. I guess he showed me!

In the early '60s, my father worked for an oil company in New Mexico. When he was hired, he was one of only a few to have a college degree. The front office of the company trained him to program IBM mainframes. He oversaw the installation of computer systems in the offices. He was the first to put in place remote monitoring of oil wells. The managers he dealt with daily had less education and were suspicious of my father's work. More than once, he faced angry questions from those who saw computers and technology as a threat to their ability to make a living. What actually happened was a boom in hiring people to operate keypunch machines and maintain the computers. The same scenario played out in all aspects of the business world as computers replaced outdated technologies. The tech boom of the '90s was evidence that new technology didn't replace human jobs; it created more opportunities for entrepreneurs and higher employment.

The guy adamantly waiting in the checkout line probably believed he was standing up for the working guy. Perhaps he felt more superior to the cashier who waited on him. Regardless, he was still waiting there while I went on about my day's work. I guess it depends upon your perspective of time management.

If humans were relieved of working to live and lived to work at what they desired and loved, what kind of world would be created? Can technological advances get us to that world? I guess it depends upon your perspective of what humans could be. Perhaps one in which aliens would witness better human behavior than that currently observed at the Big Box store.

Devin Houston is the president/CEO of Houston Enzymes. Send comments or questions to [email protected]. Opinions expressed are those of the author.