It's the most blatantly materialistic time of the year! Christmas is the season we look back and remember all the things we hoped for last year but didn't get. Christmas is the season of hope, after all. I am all for the receiving of gifts, eating of candy, cookies and rich meals, but we should take a moment from the hustle and bustle to focus on the truly important aspects of this holiday. With that in mind, here are some of the wishes on my Christmas list.
What I most want for Christmas this year is peace and goodwill for almost everyone. But not too much goodwill, because, you know, there are some people who just don't deserve it. Do refugees, people in prison, and the homeless really deserve any peace and goodness? After all, they just have themselves to blame for their misfortune, right? If our president can deny comfort to these people, then it must be the right thing to do. When they can show some effort to reform their lives, perhaps then they can get peace and goodwill. Look, I know some of them came from broken homes or were raised by abusive parents, and, sure, maybe they have mental health issues, but, you know, life isn't fair. Is it really our problem? Don't try to make me feel guilty about having a nice home, family, and income, buddy; I worked hard for what's mine! I put a couple of bucks in the Salvation Army kettle, so I did my part. But, I digress, somewhat.
Another wish on my Christmas list is for all kids to have lots of presents under the tree on Christmas morning. Every American child deserves the best toy, cell phone, video game, or computer that their little hearts desire. Why? Because they're Americans, that's why! Remember, your kids are the future, and they need to know how to handle all that technology. Luckily, social skills are a thing of the past so no matter if their faces are planted in a video screen for the next 20 years. What, you can't afford to make your child happy? Nonsense, you have credit cards, don't you? Listen, if Congress can give out tax cuts while piling on a 21 -trillion-dollar debt load, then you can give your kids those toys and devices that will be obsolete in a month! If your credit card is maxed out, just get another one because... that's right, we're Americans.
I also wish that, for this blessed holiday, family members put aside their trivial and petty disputes, and come together in love and harmony. You have all year to complain, threaten and file restraining orders; it won't hurt to take a week off from the fighting and try to reconnect. You know the truce won't last but you can act as peacemaker, all the while finding more dirt for the future disputes that will invariably occur.
My last wish for this Christmas season is for each and every reader to be given the gift of recognizing sarcasm, to chuckle heartily, and send many gifts to the author so that Christmas this year is truly a blessing to himself.
But no chunks of coal, please, I received plenty last year ... along with the restraining orders.
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Devin Houston is the president/CEO of Houston Enzymes. Send comments or questions to [email protected]. The opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 12/12/2018