Marriage for moderns

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

The institution of marriage is as old as Adam and Eve. In the beginning God, in his divine wisdom, designed marriage to be between one man and one woman. Marriage is the bed-rock upon which the family is built. And the family is the key to a solid society. As marriage goes, so goes society.

The Bible tells us that Jesus attended a wedding in the town of Cana. Everyone was having a great time -- when suddenly the refreshments ran out. Jesus calmly steps in, provides the host with new wine, and the celebration continues. The moral of this story is -- whenever Jesus has a place in one's marriage, then life together is as invigorating as new wine! Leave Jesus out -- and the marriage is doomed to failure!

The sad situation is that many modern couples leave Jesus out of their marriage, out of their lives. That causes major problems!

• Marriage becomes a game. I'll come over and play awhile; but if you don't play by my rules, I'll leave. The marriage game is OK as long as I get some pleasure from it. Without Jesus, a marriage becomes a game between two self-centered people.

• Marriage is a gamble. A gambler goes to the Casino to win. If he doesn't win in one place, he goes to another. Whenever Jesus is left out of a marriage, the husband or wife lives for their own selfish gratification; they want to get a lot out of the marriage without putting much into the marriage; they want something for nothing. When this does not happen, the husband or wife goes to another place/person to see if they can win with that person.

• Marriage is a contract. The party-of-the-first-part agrees to being certain things to the marriage union; and they expect to receive certain things from that union. So, when the party-of-the-second-part doesn't live up to the contract, divorce is the only option. Whenever Jesus is not present in a marriage, divorce steps in.

Frederick Adler wrote: "Marriages fail because people fail; people fail because they try to live without Jesus Christ!" Without the transforming, creative spirit of Jesus Christ, marriage becomes as tasteless as warm, watered-down wine.

Christian marriage begins in the presence of God, and in the presence of God's people. God, from the very first, has a vital part in the marriage union. The couple make sure that Jesus Christ is a welcome part of their family life. Christian marriage is based on the firm foundation of love and loyalty. When we love God and are loyal to Him -- only then will we be able to love our spouse and remain loyal to him/her. Christian marriage is also based on a lasting commitment -- God's love for us never quits, never ends; when He is present in our lives and in our marriage, we will keep on loving our spouse, no matter what happens. We will treat our spouse with tender loving care, with respect, and with a lasting loyalty.

Modern marriages fail because the people involved fail; and people fail because they leave Jesus Christ out of their lives! Want a marriage relationship that will last forever? Want a marriage that will stand up through all the pressures of life? Want a loving, happy family? Keep Jesus Christ at the center of your life! He will make all the difference; He will make your life and your marriage as exciting and as invigorating as new wine.

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Dr. Don Kuehle is a retired United Methodist minister who lives in Jackson. Opinions are those of the author.

Religion on 05/10/2017