For years I wondered why walking through a busy shopping mall was disorienting. There was too much visual stimulation. Too much input felt overwhelming. It made me feel uneasy, almost nauseous, like I had motion sickness. So I would walk through a busy shopping mall with my eyes cast down and try to avoid scanning all the attractive images and pretty colors. That way, I could keep my mind focused on why I was there and remember to search only for what I had come to purchase. This was a feature of my life until I was 50 years old.
As an elementary school student, if my seat was in the back of the class, I was out of luck. The sea of moving, murmuring, wiggling, students doing things in my field of vision was like a waving curtain in front of me. It was hopelessly distracting. Fortunately, I was soon diagnosed as being nearsighted. The teachers began to keep me near the front so I could see easier. I realized from the front row that I could pay attention.
As an adult now, I've served as a substitute teacher in schools. I can readily see the harm that undiagnosed ADD still causes young students. Bright boys and girls (more boys are this way than girls) begin to suffer with poor grades. Their inability to be still, to stay focused, to finish a task, takes a real toll on their grades. Behavior issues show up. They seemed to point to bad character, to willful rebellion, to disrespect toward the teacher.
But the issue is actually something they are unable to control, just like I couldn't read the chalkboard unless I moved closer or put on eyeglasses. Can you imagine the harm that this disability causes to his or her identity? It can affect their confidence. It begins to affect their perception of themselves as a competent human able to learn.
For me, as a child or teenager, I loved to learn. I had been gifted with a brilliant mind. I was able to learn quickly and had excellent comprehension. In a classroom environment, I could thrive because I was able to hyper-focus. Many ADD'ers can do this. I'll say more on this topic later. I was able to make an "A" on any test that I chose to study for -- if I was interested and not bored. School was usually interesting, because I caught a wave of advanced classes in junior and senior high school right after Russia launched Sputnik and America worked hard to catch up. I had advanced Math I and II, geometry, trigonometry, English, speech, CHEMS chemistry, science, and physics -- even four years of Latin. I was given one of the best educations ever in our public schools.
Looking back now, ADD was not a minor thing. All through my life the fact of ADD -- even though no one knew about it or called it by that name back then -- was always with me, always plaguing me. The problems increased as I grew older. When I first began to earn a living, I had to be careful about any work that required monitoring a lot of details. When I became married, the inability to handle details without being distracted or dropping the ball or having a short attention span began to affect my marriage. Frustration and anger began to invade my self-talk.
Then I realized that I had all the symptoms of adult ADD. I actually learned about my ADD by watching my two children struggle in high school. Both were diagnosed. I joked about it and said, "I caught ADD from my kids!"
ADD is no joke, I assure you. This is my story about this disability. (Excerpt from "Damaged by Adult ADD")
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Ron Wood is a writer and minister. Contact him at [email protected] or visit www.touchedbygrace.org. The opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 11/30/2016