Paying it forward

The other day, when my wife and I were on the way to church, we stopped at a friendly Starbuck's for my wife to get a cup of coffee -- I don't drink the stuff. To our surprise, the woman at the window refused to take our money for the coffee, saying that the people in the car in front of us had already paid for it.

We had heard about "paying it forward" before, but this was the first time it had happened to us. It made us feel thankful, but also appreciated. And, of course, we simply "paid it forward" for the people behind us. We still wonder how many people did the same thing before stopping this act of kindness, about the many people made to feel special that day just because someone decided to do something nice, without asking for any thanks.

Recently, the Associated Press reported a similar yet different event in Gun Barrel City in Texas (Yes, there is such a city). It seems a customer eating alone at a Texas restaurant left a big surprise behind for an 18-year-old waitress--a $1,000 tip. The waitress, Alesha Palmer, said she was so stunned by the gift that she began crying in the middle of Vetoni's Italian Restaurant. The high school senior reported to the television crew that she was serving a couple she knew and that they had asked about her college plans. She told them that her parents would be helping pay for it, but that it was going to be difficult for them. Another customer, who was seated nearby, got up to leave and approached the restaurant owner informing him of the extraordinary gift he was leaving for the waitress. The customer asked to be anonymous, but he had heard the waitress describe her situation and wanted to help.

One has to wonder if sometime in the distant future -- when this young waitress finishes her college career -- she will be telling this story over and over to someone else. Maybe she will even find herself in a well-paying occupation and will be eating at a restaurant overhearing someone else explaining college needs and will also make an anonymous gift. Isn't it wonderful to help someone in need, without the hassle of being thanked?

Obviously, not everyone is financially secure enough to be able to make such a sizable contribution to someone's future that they do not know, but there are a lot of people who do have the means to make such a difference. Many of these people make contributions to various charities, but too often they never find out exactly what their gifts have accomplished. Singling out someone in particular offers a unique opportunity to do something worthwhile -- and it may even be possible to observe unnoticed how the gift is handled.

There is an anonymous individual living in the Kansas City area who routinely provides the police department there several $100 bills every Christmas to be distributed to people they know who have special needs.

Compare the above illustrations with some of our efforts to reach out to needy people through various food pantries and meals. Would you believe that somewhere between 250 and 500 people and families are helped every week right here in our area? Various churches provide food pantries and at least one church provides a hot meal every Friday for hungry and needy people. These are very generous efforts by concerned Christian people, but many times the people receiving the assistance are expecting the gift and not appreciating it. Our culture is full of people who expect to be taken care of without doing much to earn their way.

When I lived in Kansas, our community decided that it needed a Community Caring Center through which it could minister to needy people. The churches of the community gathered together to build such a building in one day (yes, one day) under the direction of an architect who donated his time and efforts. I will never forget an older lady who showed up wanting to be a part of our endeavor. She couldn't do much, but she wanted to at least pound one nail into the building. I helped her use a hammer and pound two nails into a support for the building, something that was not easy with tears in her eyes. It's amazing what churches can do if they work together.

We need to be grateful for all of the people who care enough to give at least something to help those less fortunate, and we need to encourage our needy folks to appreciate the gifts that come their way. Most do.

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Robert Box is the former chaplain for the Bella Vista Police Department and is currently the Fire Department chaplain. The opinions expressed are those of the author.

Editorial on 06/22/2016